The Orange Box: i will review it....some day *looks off in to the distance*

F**k where are those tissues! *sniff*

i dont mean that in a bad way (i.e sexualy) i mean that i have just fineshed the orange box and i really need to get a tissue *sniff*

i dont want to get in to much detale right now because i am hoping to do it in audio form to save me having to right out a 3000 word article on it.

so i will just close with a littel message for valve. I BETTER SEE EP.3 BY THE END OF THE YEAR OR I WILL......be very sad AND PISSED.

frontlines multiplayer review

ok this is a littel later than i had hoped but i was sick then my power supply broke and that is the way it goes.

so at the end of the single player review i said that the single player was just a trainning ground for the multi player and i can say with all certenty that..... i have no god damn idea!

this game is so unbelivebly hard to get in to online that it made me want to just through the disk on the fire (whitch i could have done because i have a log burning fire LIKE A REAL MAN!)
with a some of the worst map desing ever. oh! so i am supposed to spawn at the back of the map if i want a vehicle? HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT UNLESS I MADE THE FUCKING MAP! *takes a sip of tea* ok i will trie to be calmer from hear on in but it is reall y hard to not just slap on the caps lock and WRITE LIKE THIS FOR THE THE HOLE TIME but i am trying to be a bit better than that so hear we go.

as i said before the map design is truly terrible with the most uneven spread of vehicles i have seen since apartied africa (oooh i went there!) and some really under powered tanks. now this is an issue whitch i left out of my single player review because i felt is was not enough of a problem to warent a look in but now in the multiplayer game it becomes a hugh problem and .that is the complete uslessness of the explosings in the game, in the other FPS whitch is currently rulling xbox live *cough call of duty cough* a grenade or a rocket is really dangeous with people running as fast as they can away from a grenade but hear they might as well have not been put in, they are pointless unless your enemy stands on it after it has bounced around a few times and even then it may not kill him and another problem is that your charicter has all the haste of a snail full of horse tranks. he takes an age to reload and insistes on cocking his gun every time you take it out. i think that if a added all the bullets he must have wasted from cocking his gun for no reason then i would have enough bullets to make my self a suit and cape ( it would be called somthing like murder on the dance floor) and this is really anoying when you have to change weapon sharpish ( whitch you always have to do because you never get a secound to think before an enemy is in your face) and this is only agrevated more by the weapons seliction wheel. who the f**k thought "hay! i know lets make them select there weapons by using a wheel" to whitch the other developers said "that is the best idea ever" and so this horrible thing was born. there isnt even a quick switch button or any thing like that when you want to change weapon you must hold down Y stopping all you where doing (including defending your self from the guy shotting you in the arse) and select your new weapon (dont for get to recock it!) and if you arent dead by then, well you are bloody lucky, as with the wit the weak granades this was not mentioned in the single player review because it was not to big a problem (the A.I is really bad).

this was always going to be compared to COD4 but really they are two diffrent kettles of fish (although how you get any fish in a kettle is somthing i think i am happyer not knowing) for one thing frontlines is for the battlefiels crowed and call of duty is for the *shudder* counter-strike crowd so any compareson of the two is really a bit pointless.
do i think it will take over live? no it just does not have the fan base although there will be a sizible communtiy of really good players (although there all ready are) and it could be fun for a rental unless you really like battlefield and its peers.

on a side note, battlefield:bad company looks like it may be the next big live game

another thought

What would happen if i put milk through a soda stream? would it be fizzy or would it curdle or somthing?

answers on a post card please (or an e-mail)

a thought (whilst i should be doing somthing else)

why is it that cats are all ays looking past you or away from you?
do they think we are NOTHING! us there masters why do they hate us why? why? WHY!? *breaks down in to tears*

just a thought

no gamercard

this more of a plea of help than a explinsion, as you will know i have an xbox live account and you may also know it is possible to display your card on a blog but i have a problem, when i set up my account i mispelled my email so now i cannot chang the email with out setting up anothere account, whitch i am not going to do.

so can any one help i will be forever greatfull.

thanks in advance

frontlines review part 1

this is the first part of my frontlines:fuel of war review where in i shall review the single player.

You may be wondering why i dont just review everything in one, well i have decided that the single and multi player aspects of this game are so diffrent that they warrent there own reviews.
so first a little bit of plot: frontlines is set in the year 2024 in a yet another post-apocaliptic waste land that seem to be the only thing we have to look forward to.
but this one has an intresting twist and that is that it is a really likly timeline, here is a quick run down:

the oil in the middle east starts to run out and that region bassicly goes in to complete civil war(well ok the hole place gets nuked which is what i have been saying we should do all along)
then the developed world starts to feel the strian and pretty soon all hell has broke lose.
Russia and china form the RED STAR alience and start to look for the last oil.

the EU and america form a aliance and take controle of the remaning oil fields.

and all this leads to a very black hawk down esk first level intro and some of the most tear inducing lines since Evil Dead.

on to the gameplay, on the hole this is a very easy to use system of contoles once you figure them out, if you are striaght out of COD4 like me then you will struggle for a while but once you get used to it the controls start to make sense and you will be blasting those naughty ruskys (who are the only people you fight strangle) with ease.

the single player story is very short taking at most five hours on normal although there is added value with all the timed achevments and what not but i can say with a amount of certanty that it will prove to be no more than a training mode for the online witch i will review with in the next two days.

game violence-my two pence

before i say anything let me state one thing. i am all for protecting the minds of chidren and i would never see a problem with a law that stops children playing game that where never meant to be played by them(although lets be honest no normal healthy adult has ever played manhunt for more than a guilty pleasure because that game had some bad controle problems) but when people try to stop the sane majority from having one of the basic human rights (that is to do what ever the hell we want as long as no one gets hurt) then these people can be called with complete convicsion a bunch of narrow minded hipocrits.

Also i would just like to point out that games are NOT REAL! some people really need to get this in to there heads(most of these people being sadly lawyers)